I Will Outlive My Children
I have chosen in this lifetime to have kids I will absolutely outlive. Each one will complete my heart, then break my heart, with the following adoption trotting in with big shoes to fill and a tortured heart to mend. Every moment I’m with any of my fur babies this knowing lightly haunts me… and not even in the “back of my mind,” way closer than is settling. But, it also gifts me more present moment awareness than most people will ever have. I don’t need to lose any of them to learn the importance of treasuring them all right now. I don’t need anything to put into perspective their short, precious, and invaluable lives.
I have filled my life with treasure’s, treasures that come with metaphorical ticking time bombs. What masks the tick? How loud my heart beats with joy. The laughter. The neighs. The woofs. The meows. The clucks. The squeaks. That is the chorus of my life. The song of my heart. Fur-kids fill your heart in a unique way as nothing else can. Pure innocence. Complete dependence. The only thing they want from you is the one thing they will absolutely break the day they leave you. As painful as that trade may be, most pet parents would trade anything—not for their lifetime back—but just a moment. That’s how powerful the bond with an animal soul is.
A sentence that’s stuck with me and worth the bill: Grief’s the tax we pay for love. So although I will outlive my children, knowing every bit of their life will be spent with me until their final breath, is something any parent can find contentment in. I don’t see the countdown because I’m focused instead on providing comfort, care, safety, and the memories that mend when the timer hits zero. Time’s up. When you’ve invested it wisely, your closure is compounded. You can exhale fully knowing you inhaled the everyday, day-to-day together, acknowledging how special each breath together is and was. And if you get real quiet and calm the emotional chaos you’ll realize—they’ve never left you. Your heart has an extra beat because they’re now part of your soul wherever they’ve gone next.
